Most of the time I don’t think about it.

Most of the time I don’t think about it.
Other times it’s all I can think about it.
And I hate it.

We walked into the dealership
When the service man did a double take,
Like were were aliens in a foreign place.

Most of the time I don’t think about it
Other times it’s as obnoxious as someone yelling into their bluetooth ear piece.
And it’s embarrassing.

We were sitting in the diner
When the old man turned his head, his face all confused,
Wordlessly letting us know that he disapproved.

Most of the time I don’t think about it
Other times it’s louder than a freight train.
And it’s deafening.

We were holding hands on the side walk
When the couple eyed us up and down and up and down
Might as well have been bobbing their heads to James Brown.

Most of the time I don’t think about it.
Other times it feels so intrusive, like when a kid is glued to the glass of an aquarium.
And it’s uncomfortable.

Then I try to come up with excuses for why they stare,
Like, we don’t dress like them.
Or, we just look happy and in love and —
but maybe it is just that it’s me with him..
Or him with me.

Most of the time I don’t think about it.
Other times it’s right there in your face, like when the dentist is filling your cavities.
And it hurts.

Then when I try to come up with other excuses,
I realize that isn’t entirely fair, is it?
Cuz maybe that’s just me speaking from privilege? — I’m white.
And he’s, like, the best at forgiveness and always has been,
So he just keeps walking — oh, and he’s black.

Most of the time I don’t think about it
Other times it’s like being in a cave, where it’s just panoramic darkness.
And it’s scary.

Then I think about our kids one day
How they’ll look ambiguous — whatever that means.
How when they fill out forms they’ll have to check the box that says: Other
Ugh.

Most of the time I don’t think about it
Other times it’s all I can think about.
And I hate it. I hate it.

But there is also abounding beauty; we get more smiles than glares,
I guess we are rhombus’ amongst mostly squares.
Just a little different from the norm.

But that’s okay.
I also love it.


One thought on “Most of the time I don’t think about it.

  1. This is hard to read and beautiful at the same time. I am sorry you ever had to experienve this even once. Always remember we are called to be different then the norm 🙂 Unfortunately even the most perfect man alive, Jesus, had people who gave Him looks, taunted Him, and made Him feel unwelcome at times. But He knew who he really was on the inside and kept His head held high. I know you 2 can do the same. ❤ Keeping your eyes on the very end goal of eternity while looking in front of you now for opprotunity. God will bless you and take care of you. Luv you both! Thanks for shairing .

    Like

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